Talk:Pumpkin Moon/@comment-24143898-20171029062842
okay righto I have time for a comment so you will get a comment. after this comment, there will be two more (which i'll do at some point - exams are next month but we'll see!!!). this lot's 12-14: therefore 15-17 and 18/19/epilogue will be in the final two lots. hah, three chapters (or equivalent) in each comment, yay :D moving on SPOILERS Chapters Twelve, Thirteen and Fourteen: Oh, Gouda xD you amuse me sometimes ("wait up guys i'm comingggg"). He's definitely got a lot of different sides to him, and this makes him a really great character! There's many different aspects to him - there are times when he's scared, he's serious, or just joking around - and it's great to see! It really shows how well-developed he is as a character, and it's really good. gj flare for getting a bee in his paw I laughed at that xD and then it suddenly gets really dark (dundundun) here comes Target again hmmm oh jeez Target has a kid. (there's never a time where there's no surprises, is there??) sounds like he's a bad father, too. I wonder what he's doing to Violet... Gouda appears to be aware of this (or at least Violet's existence), those two must've met at some point. (probably before the events of this book, as from my memory I haven't come across Violet before) Chapter Thirteen - oh so this is where the idea of pumpkin moon comes in. and judging by that first half of that chapter, something's gonna happen as a result of it. also what's with Flare suddenly thinking Target is only his problem? didn't see that before from him. uhoh death's gonna happen. ginger and golden cats, hmm? is gouda/flare/both of them gonna be involved in this somehow? I have a bad feeling that Gouda is, considering that his name was spoken. I mean, it's only a dream, but... what if it actually happens?? also no target in that scene (maybe?? I've forgotten what he looks like oops - or has that not been mentioned idk) (adding here before I forget - although some parts so far are kinda sad and stuff I really like some of the things that the cats say? some of it's kinda humorous and it doesn't make all the sad stuff seem so bad. I really like that. keep it coming.) And now to chapter fourteen, which seems like a fairly long chapter ooo o petal's expecting shade's kits??? hmm, I don't really know if this is the best time to expect kits... please don't die and let the kits live oh great here comes Target again. He keeps on coming back, that dude. He isn't gonna leave Gouda and his group alone, aren't they? I mean, he hasn't attacked them in a while bUT who is alari exactly? I've gathered from the chapter that Scarlet is another Targetspawn, but is she one as well? Or is she just a minion of Target? ooo and Gouda knows Scarlet. They have a history hmmm. also Violet is turning out to be like her father. rip. I hoped earlier on that she wouldn't turn out that way... but apparently I was wrong. D: Target (and his spawn) are definitely shaping up to be the villains here... especially considering that Scarlet has just attacked Gouda welp cliffhanger. so annoying aaaaah that's gonna have to be a part of my next comment (which'll have to be made another day, hmph) Overall comments - Really good three chapters! Character development is going well, and I want to see more of Target, Targetspawn and what they're up to - oh and that pumpkin moon as well. I did notice a few minor spelling mistakes in chapter 12, so that might need a little proofreading? I didn't see any in 13 and 14, but i'd check those as well. also, great to see a longer chapter 14!! END SPOILERS jeez this is a long comment how much did I just write xD